July 31, 2011

The Ocean Floor

A song that's meant a lot to me these past few days.

I've had a rough couple of weeks lately, which in the summer would usually culminate in me spending far too much time duck diving time and time again, trying to see if I can sit on the ocean floor forever. The murky blue light that filters through the water and the gentle ebbing of the ocean as it fills my ears gives me peace. 

Lying on the ocean floor. Sand ingrained in my skin. Staring at the waving sun, clouds, blue fragmented sky, I find a stillness that I can't get anywhere else.

Last weekend, I took a trip to the ocean. It was calm. Gentle. I almost walked in fully dressed to try and find some of that peace, but decided against it.

This weekend, everything had gotten that bit harder and I fully intended on going for a quick swim. Just one dive down, that was all I needed to be able to wade through all of the hard times that were coming. But I didn't need to.

One look at the roaring ocean. Almost getting blown away by the wind. The tide sweeping up higher than I ever expected it to and turning my shoes into sandpits. The taste of salt on my lips. It was enough to make me realise that life is bigger than me. Things will happen that I won't understand, but life is still beautiful. The hard times are what make the good times so good, and all we can do is try our best.

July 30, 2011


Yesterday, I woke up hungover and feeling utterly horrible. My friend Chloe, whose house I stayed at, and I, were just chatting, laughing, wishing we could get back to sleep. And then Chloe got a phone call. Our friend Guppy had passed away on Wednesday night.

It was sudden, and completely unexpected and I thought that it was some kind of weird joke. It's only just starting to hit me that he's gone. I didn't know Guppy as well as a lot of our friends, but I knew him well enough to know he was a pretty rad guy.

To Guppy's family, our hearts go out to you.

To Guppy, we all know we will see you again someday, but until then - rest in peace.

To everyone else, life can change so suddenly, so do your best to enjoy every minute of it.

July 05, 2011


"Thing is, I know I'll get there. I know that life keeps going and going until it stops, and that once it's stopped, you've got there, but at the same time, whether or not you've got there doesn't matter, cause by then, you're either somewhere else, or nowhere at all."

The man paused. Looked up. His brow was furrowed and weather beaten, and grey hairs were beginning to spout from his chin alongside the thick black stubble. His thoughts lent him an absurd kind of solace.

"Geez you're a strange one mate! How morbid d'you wanna be?"
"Iuno", he shrugged. It wasn't morbid, he thought, it was hope. It was freedom.

A rush of wind takes them both by surprise, and the other man picks up his glass, grinning at his friend. "Ah, don't worry. You'll keep." He breathed the bitter brew into his mouth and stared at the shining metal table. The kind with circles burnished into it, that always got cut off by another rounded illusion. The circles always fascinated him as a kid. He didn't get how they jumped out at him. How they seemed so separate from each other.

He levered the cup back into its place, using his grimy, calloused hand.

"Hey, remember when we were kids, Sam?"
"What about when we were kids?"

He thought hard. Everything? The freshness of the world. Their innocence and carelessness. Scaling the chicken wire fences around the school oval to tumble down the dunes and splash in the churning white waves, instead of sitting cleanly in class.

Sam helped him out, "what about the time you beat me up?"
They both chuckled. "Yeah, weren't very fond of each other for a while after that, huh?"
"Nup. Mind you, that board was a beauty."
"Yeah, and you crushed it tryin' ta surf down a bloody concrete hill!" The corners of their eyes crinkled with laughter again.
"God we were crazy bastards." Jim croaked on his final word, and looked up at his friend and felt sorry.

Maybe Sam was right. All that shit and yet here they were. The seconds on the clock had ticked away, and they'd ticked on with it.

July 04, 2011

The Singapore Chronicles - June 30, July 1 & 2

Written on July 1
I reallyreallyreally don't want to go home :( I miss everyone there so much, but I just absolutely love it here! Singapore is such a beautiful place, it really is. The weather is beautiful, the food is amazing (although some mashed potato would be really nice), and the people that I've met are utterly rad! It seems like I have so much left to explore, and yet tomorrow, I'm going home!

But I digress! There will be plenty of time for me to reflect on everything that I have done this week later, and the depressing-ness of leaving before I've even really started learning about the culture and places in Singapore!  Instead, I shall tell you quickly about what I did in the last two days - if that is even possible - because it is rather late (2am) and I would quite like some sleep :P

Yesterday (Thursday), I had a not so busy morning, which was lovely. Bec and I chillaxed in the apartment, before going out to do some more shopping, eating sea food fried rice (so amazing!) and theeennn...the fun really began :D

Watermelon Juice in China Town :D

After a little while spent around China Town, we went to Orchard Road where we got bored in a 4-storey clothing shop, and then began to take epic amounts of photos :P All along Orchard Road there were drawings of different attractions, which Bec and I got a bit too excited about, before finding a table at the place we were meeting our friend Michelle at for dinner, and taking pictures of us pulling funny faces while we waited :P

Chilling with some random plastic people

Then we went to go on the Singapore Flyer, which is kinda like the London Eye. We were on a mass high and talking in weird accents so we had a lot of fun doing that :P The view was also absolutely stunning, especially because it was dark out, and Singapore at night is seriously rad.

Then, to continue our journey, we caught the MRT (train) to Clarke Quay, which is where clubs and bars and things are, met up with Bec's boyfriend, Xuan Kai, and went on the GMAX!!! :D Which is kinda like an upside-down bungee. Before we went on it, we were all freaking out! Xuan Kai and I were waiting in the line, and we watched these two other guys get strapped in, and the ropes pull up before it flings you up into the air, and all of a sudden they were gone. I still can't believe how fast it was!!! We still did it though and it was so much fun!

The Gmax (Picture from http://www.gmax.com.sg)

After that, we went down to an Italian cafe/bar sort thing, Bec kept buying me shots so I got a little drunk, ate some ice cream, and went home. It was a pretty radtacular day.

Written on July 2
On Friday my favourite part of the day was also the evening. Bec and I did some shopping during the day, saw a movie with Jen and Martha (some of Bec's friends who we had dinner with on Wednesday), went and at dimsum with Bec's Mum and Xuan Kai (which was rather hilarious), and theeenn...my favourite part of the day/night! :D

We met up again with Jen and Martha, and also Syaheera, ate some ice-cream at Ben & Jerry's, and then went and sat out on this deck type thing outside the shopping mall and played Uno. The weather was perfect, there were these Thai guys sitting behind us playing guitars, drinking beer (which we could smell) and singing quite loudly - which all added to the atmosphere - and Uno was masses of fun. It was kinda a really nice moment in time. I think it was a pretty great way to finish up my trip.

Anyways, I'm already missing Singapore. Bec, the people, the weather, the food, the apartment...so many things. I keep thinking perhaps I could go and live there for six months. It was such an amazing week, and I'm all eager now to travel and fully immerse myself in the culture of a place! But that'll come eventually I guess (or something similar). For now, I shall be content with my puppy sleeping in my room with me again and being at home with my wonderful family who all came to see me in at the airport :)

La famiglia at Rohan's 21st (July 3)