November 30, 2012

Caught on Film & an "Iced Barack Obama"

Today, I helped out at one of my favourite coffee haunts. The little brother got home from leavers (schoolies, whatever you wanna call it), safe & sound, and we had a grand conversation that included a discussion about the joys of British insults (twat). I drank 4 coffees. I pondered the merits of the potato as a romantic gift. 3 of the coffees were given to me for free by my lovely friend. I ate some tasty gelato, also given to my by another lovely friend. And as if that wasn't all grand enough, one of the coffees I drank has been dubbed the "Iced Barack Obama"**.

The Wildest of Dreams is officially off hiatus, except I expect it might be a little different around here. It didn't last long, but that's because somehow not having the pressure of posting magically cleared my mind and helped me to realise a few things. I'll explain more later, maybe, but in the meantime, I hope you enjoy the rest of the photos from the roll of film behind my "Honesty" post.

Over and out.
Rhi :)

**Sadly this is only its temporary title, although I'm still hoping the name sticks :P

November 28, 2012

Caught on Film: Honesty

"I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and emotional and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people's eyes when they first wake up and they've forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favourite character dies. I love laying next to someone in the dark listening to their thoughts drift off of their tongues and then lingering in the space between us. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. I fall in love with their honesty."

November 20, 2012


Last night, I booked a one-way ticket to finally embark on an adventure I've wanted to go on for my whole life. An hour later, I found myself writing these words,

"I want doughnuts and gelato and a long hug. Booking the flight unleashed some kind of manic joy. I was getting out of here, at last. Leaving. Escaping. But then I took a deep breath and was overcome by fear. By the emptiness that had had hold of me before, and the unknown that lay ahead. By the fear that maybe I had lost something forever, and perhaps not even time, not even the years that have since passed, or exploring abroad, would help me to get that back."

I suppose what I'm trying to get at, in a somewhat cryptic but brutally honest way (for myself), is that I'm feeling a little lost at the moment. Empty and numb and broken all at once. The words just haven't been flowing for too long a time and I don't know how to make them come back. I don't even feel that inclined to take pictures of anything to remember this feeling that's been engulfing me for longer than I care to remember. So, apart from an occasional Op Shop Challenge post, the blog is going on hiatus.

I'll definitely be back. I'm going to study in Milan next year for 6 months, and as scared as I am, the excitement definitely outweighs the fear. From there, I plan to trek back to India to spend some time with the lovely people I met on the first leg of The India Project and to begin working on some actual plans to turn my dreams into a reality.

These are adventures that I'll want to document no matter what so, at the very latest, I'll be back here on January 16, the day I leave. I just wanted to let you know what's going on though because even though this is just a tiny little blog, I've still met some incredible people through it and I thought before my (temporary) disappearance, I'd at least say thanks all for being so rad, and for being there for me over some rough times of late :)

Hopefully I'll be seeing you all soon!

Over and out.

November 19, 2012

Bits and Pieces: Take 8

1 / These guys are rather amusing. They also closed for a week. It's been a terrible few days :P
2 / Went to a fashion show with this kid, tackled a Maccas drive through and then ran around a park in the dead of night. It was great.
3 & 4 / I sat in my backyard with two of my brothers and one of our doggys, talking and laughing and relaxing.
5 / Spent an awful lot of time at the beach. I love summer.
6 / Coffee times!! A Friday ritual :)
7 & 8 / A final farewell to the uni tav for the year.
9 / Had lunch with an old friend.
10 / Learnt how to play the Pepper the Pig game with my lovely cousin.

After all that finishing uni joy, turns out the past 7 days have been pretty hectic and taking photos hasn't particularly been on the top of my radar. I'm also getting excessively bored of iPhone photos. Can't wait for my new photo-taking machine to arrive for Christmas ;)

November 18, 2012

Lemon Slice & Iced Long Blacks

The song doesn't really go with the post, I usually try to align the music, if any, with my words. This time I just wanted to share the song though. I'm currently a little bit hooked on it :)

I passed a few hours yesterday with an old friend. Well, I suppose she is an old friend. It doesn't feel like all that long ago that we were meeting each other for the first time on the bus that we would catch to and from school together for 3 years.

That was back in the days when I aspired to be a certain person - to be composed and put together, to attain a certain kind of job that came with a degree of prestige. I wanted to have a big house and two cars, an expensive corporate wardrobe and an even bigger selection of patterned silk blouses, summer dresses, designer jeans, woollen jackets - you name it. I wanted it all, really. I wanted to work hard and to reward myself accordingly, to be respected and normal. Normal, normal, normal.

And then I think about it, and I feel like it was an age ago - maybe two or three - when we met back on that school bus. I really honestly do. In the almost 6 years since we met, I've turned into a completely different person. In those 6 years, I've experienced contentment & happiness, but also raw physical & emotional pain. I've had great friendships and friendships that have crashed and burnt. I've grown up. And looking back, the idea of all those things that I aspired to be and aspired to have, makes me feel sick.

Now, I aspire to hopefully one day have a tiny run-down little house or apartment to call my own, hopefully. I want a car that will get me from A to B (and fit a cello or surfboard in the back), I want clothes to wear that I feel comfortable in, and I want to work in an area where I'm guaranteed to face opposition but that I am passionate about and that, when I tell other people about it, makes me smile and causes my words to spill over themselves because I want to tell absolutely everything.

And as I was walking with this friend, both of us talking about how we want simplicity and to follow our dreams, even if that means we only just scrape by, I felt content. All of the trials and tribulations of the past 6 years, the silly things that I've done that I wish I could take back, the things that have happened to me that I wished, more than anything, would leave me be, don't seem to matter anymore. These are the things that have made me who I am, and honestly, looking back over those years, they're the things that I've since forgotten or have learned to laugh at. 

Besides, I am beginning to learn that it is the lazy afternoons at the beach and the conversations had over pieces of lemon slice & iced long blacks with an old friend that I will remember. Or the spontaneous trips to the sea with another friend who has proven to be incredible time & time again...

vivian maier via my pinterest

November 12, 2012

Bits and Pieces: Take 7.

1-5 / I hung out in an urban orchard (next to the train station in Perth), hunting for strawberries, admiring my city and picking flowers with Nageena.
6 & 7 / I went to a small gathering, learnt that the guy in the photo apparently draws Mario mushrooms everywhere, and laughed a lot.
8 / This kid got her license!! For our first driving trip, she took me to my doctors appointment hahaha. 
9-11 / For our next trip, we went down to the beach for a lovely swim, and then headed to Fremantle for chips, juice and coffee. We also found this rabbit, drove half way home and decided we didn't really want to go home so went back to Freo. Ah sweet freedom.
12 / Poppies came to life in my back garden and I remembered those men & women who have fought for my country.
13 / The little brother cooked pancakes for the two of us, and hid behind this tea towel when I tried to take a photo. I laughed a little at the slight piece of irony :P

Not pictured: Today, I handed in my final assessment for the semester!! It wasn't 4 days late or anything... :P

To celebrate, I am going to go and potentially eat some gelato, sleep a lot, and plan a very exciting adventure that I'm about to dive into :D

Over and out.
Rhi :) xx

PS. I should mention that I am actually absurdly excited about having time to sit and write, both for this space and for another that I have seriously neglected. Also to be able to visit your spaces without feeling terribly guilty for not utilising the time for study. I'll be seeing you soon!! :D

November 08, 2012

Caught on Film: Roll 2

The pentax has been on a bit of a holiday lately while I try to get a few things sorted. I realised this morning though that I'm yet to share these photos from my unofficial second roll of film. I have a few more waiting to be developed that'll hopefully be making an appearance here soon as well :)

How beautiful are those roses?

November 07, 2012

Stubbornness and Hope.

10.15am. I went to see my doctor. I need to withdraw from a unit, because this semester has been too hard and I haven't been able to do my work. I want to tell him about how I've struggled with my diagnosis, but it's too difficult. Obama is ahead in the electoral college, just.

11.00am. I am sitting in Nageena's car, out the front of her house, while she gets a few things. Mitt Romney is ahead in the electoral college. I involuntarily yell 'fuck' to no one except the mudlark sitting in my friend's front garden.

1pm. I'm waiting to go into my physio appointment. I can't walk up stairs properly because my hip is still sore from its injuries of last week. My shoulder muscles are so tight that I am having trouble holding my head where it's meant to be. I look at a photo of my cello, and wonder if I will play it again. Obama has won.

6.30pm. I finish work. I talk with some old Italian men outside an ice cream shop and they tell me about their world. About animal cruelty on big ships; about farmers and citizens being ripped off by the middle man.  About how the boy who works at the shop is orright. 

They sound happy that I study Italian and politics at uni. They tell me, loudly, that they're sick of innocent people being killed. One curses, the other tries to make him be quiet. They watch the train timetable for me to make sure I don't miss my train again. Despite it all, they seem hopeful. 

7.30pm. I begin the 200m walk home from my bus stop. I like this walk. I breathe in the night air as I determine to finish my final essay, tonight. I know I can do this. 

7.31pm. I've walked 50m and my hip dislocates. It won't go back in. My brain descends into chaos and I lose any coherent thoughts as I try to hold my body together and get home. 

All images taken from my Pinterest.
Except for this one. A friend found this on this flickr.

7.45pm. I have a shower. I eat dinner. I want to cry.

9.00pm. I sit on my bed with my laptop and realise I can't write this essay right now. My brain and my body won't cooperate. I have learnt that pain will do this to a person. I look at my cello and think I won't play again. I look at my running shoes and the voices of doctors' fill my head and tell me I won't be using those either. 

I upload Obama's Presidential acceptance speech because I am a politics nerd and I feel like this is at least, in some way, productive.

9.10pm. I am listening to arguably the most powerful man in the world speak. Even though he isn't perfect, even though he's done some things I don't like, I respect him. He understands these things about himself. He understands he's going to let people down at some stage, and he is trying to forewarn them, all while telling them he'll still do his best. 

9.20pm. I am listening to arguably the most powerful man in the world and he says, "I have always believed that hope is that stubborn thing inside us that exists despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us so long as we have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting."

I look at my cello and am reminded of my determination to keep going, my determination to fight for this instrument that I love. I smile at the party hat that adorns it. I feel hope. One day, I will pull my bow across it's fat strings and deep sounds will reverberate from within its body. As my fingers place pressure on those strings, beautiful sounds will linger in my ear. One day, this will be more than just a dream.

I look at my running shoes, touch my tender hip and flex my toes. One day, I will pull those shoes on and go for a jog. One foot will take off, the other will land. One foot will take off, the other will land. I won't look graceful or elegant. I won't be able to keep up this movement for more than a few moments, but it will still be something.

I have stubbornness, and I have hope. I know inside of myself that something better awaits me, so long as I have the courage to keep reaching, to keep working, to keep fighting.